This is my testimony to the grace and mercy of God for his lost children.
I have often heard the term "Indwelling of the Holy Spirit," which, to me, means that the Holy Spirit comes to live inside someone, and that person will feel His presence.
I never considered whether a person has a physical encounter and "Sees" the Holy Spirit during the indwelling or is it only a spiritual encounter, a Holy sensation but nothing to see.
Many years ago, I had a dark Near Death Experience. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't pleasant either. You can read about it here. https://www.myrighteousapparel.com/blogs/news/god-is-still-talking
So I had this NDE where God showed me that He existed and showed me there is accountability during the "Life Review." Scary, yet, nothing really changed in my life. I was still going to the same job, struggling with the same bills. I never started going to church or pursuing God in any way. It seems crazy after the NDE, but now I realize this was all part of God's timing.
It Gets Worse
My life took a turn for the worse. I had cancer and was getting chemotherapy. The kind of therapy where your hair falls out, and you throw up all night. My marriage ended. 15 years of marriage with 3 kids ended less than 6 months after my chemotherapy.
I was used to living with my wife and our three kids in a three-bedroom house. I felt so alone when I did not have the kids. At first, on my days off, I found things to do that I enjoyed. But that also gets lonely, and most days aren't days off. I still came home from the same job with the same bills, but now it seemed almost meaningless. It's as if no one cared that I was alive and struggling. You know what I mean.
Suicide is Painless
Believe it or not, things got even worse. Much worse. It does not matter what it was. I was done. I took out my loaded 9mm Ruger and set it on the bed next to me. I was not lying in bed. I was not asleep. I was sitting upright on the edge of my bed with a gun next to me. I started praying to this God that brought me to the NDE. I prayed words that I would never pray now. Accusing God of giving me a worthless life. Why would you do this to me? Why would you give me a family and take it away? Why was I born at all? I was telling God to just take my life from me, or I will do it myself. I was crying so hard, sure I was about to pull the trigger and be out of my misery.
The Indwelling
A few feet in front of me, there appeared a translucent figure of a person. I could see it and see through it at the same time. I could not tell if it was male or female. For some reason, I was not afraid. As it moved toward me, I fell back onto my back. I don't want to say the Holy Spirit pushed me, but He made me go from sitting upright to lying on my back. The Holy Spirit entered my body just below my belly button, and I was immediately aware of the Holy Spirit inside of me, and a feeling of joy consumed me. Thoughts of suicide dissipated. The gun next to me became surreal. What was I thinking? I could feel that spot near my belly button where He went in for a few days. I liked feeling it, but eventually, the feeling went away. I imagine God didn't want me to focus on the spot he entered me and to start focusing on Him.
The 99
You know the story. God leaves the 99 in the flock to get the one that strayed. He got me. I am now a believer in Jesus; I pray daily, participate at my church, and work as God's hands and feet whenever I see the opportunity. It's not a brain thing. It's a heart thing. God saved my earthly life and my afterlife, and now I am His.